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Losing My Way Does Not Mean That I Am Lost

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As I watched the funeral of pop legend Whitney Houston yesterday, I came to a realization.  Losing my way does not mean that I am lost.

This realization came after listening to a stirring tribute by Houston’s bodyguard.  He had been with her throughout her career.  He had seen her at her best, and he had seen her when she was in the dark throes of her drug addiction.  He spoke about the deep faith that she had in God, and talked about how her Bible was beaten and tattered because she carried it with her wherever she went.  He talked about how it was marked up inside with passage upon passage underlined.

When he spoke of this, I imagined Whitney with her Bible open as she was high or depressed or suffering.  Then I thought of myself.

I tend to read my Bible when things are either good, or when I am in need of something.  For some reason, when I fall prey to myself, whether it be addictive behaviors or just selfishness, I set my Bible aside.  I feel too unworthy to pick it up.  I feel like a hypocrite.  After all, how can I love God and want a relationship with him while I am pursuing things that I know are not good for me?  I have gone months without picking up my Bible, a victim to shame and self-condemnation, thinking “when I get it right, I will start reading my Bible again.”

I now know that I don’t have to get it right first.  I now know that there is no condemnation for those who love the Lord.  I also know that loving the Lord does not mean I will never stumble, fall, or fall victim to my own selfish desires.  He is with me regardless.

Thank you, Whitney…for opening my eyes.  Thank you for helping me to realize that I do not have to run and hide from God.  His mercy is there for me…always.

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Written by cherylawilliams

February 19, 2012 at 5:24 pm

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